It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I posted. I have much on my mind, as usual. I'm still in the midst of being a school psychologist, and navigating all the responsibility and weight of what that means. It's been 10 years, and I still struggle with balancing self-care, too much caring, and district bureaucratic drama. Let me give you an example. After a very strenuous last year (which included a 7 day strike, stress attacks, a new supervisor, and a huge caseload), I thought this year would be much better. There are definitely some things that are better this year. For one, I did go to 80% time, which gives me some relief in the stress-zone. And I am benefitting from the deeper connections we made during the strike with fellow teachers and staff. My supervisor is trying her best and she has such a tough job, I don't envy her. But they started rolling out this "Cycle of Inquiry" procedure for staff, which includes spending very expensive time mulling over a NASP standard and analyzing how we can inquire or deepen our practice in that realm. At least I'm assuming that is basically what it is for us. It was never explained fully. The concept was never explained. It was just mentioned, in the staff meeting, that, "oh by the way, we are doing this now." We didn't have a say and we didn't have any clue what we were doing. Luckily, one of my groupmate's was on top of her game and we were able to regurgitate some ad hoc info to put on the amazingly ambiguous spreadsheet. Who knows where this information is going and why we are told to be doing this. I think the teachers have been told to do this too, and our Instructional Coaches. It really makes no sense practically speaking because everyone is so overwhelmed by district demands already that it makes it a resentful process. It's like adding more boiling water to already overflowing pot. Perhaps I'll look in hindsight and think, "oh wow, that was helpful, and made me a better psych." But for now at least, I'm irritated and annoyed at how administration and leaders can just put down a new law, procedure or requirement without thinking of the ramifications. Now, I'm sure there may be some good reasoning for this new procedure (like deepening our own practice), but it's just difficult spending time on something when you weren't explained the reasoning behind it or given a chance to voice your input. Now I understand why teachers are at their capacity with all that they are required to do. Okay, I'm done ranting about the crazy bureaucracy. Time to go back to my self-care. Meditation anyone?