accomplishment!

it feels like an accomplishment when a 6 year doesn't "use it" in her pants for a week. ah, the smell -er rather nonsmell- of success! a 1st grade teacher and i embarked on a collaborative problem solving model (developed by dr. ross green) last week. we sat down and i opened the discussion (making sure to note that she was not in trouble), with, "we noticed that you have been going to the bathroom on yourself almost every day...what's up?" after shrugs, more questions, the empathy stage, more shrugs, avoidance, tabling questions, and then more digging (as we learned in our training, it's key to do this all without judgment), we found out that she goes to the bathroom, but then doesn't go all the way. apparently she was rushing it, then when her pants were up, she would finish! so with some more questions, i decided it was time for invitation to solutions. since it was difficult for her to come up with ideas on how not to wet herself, the teacher and i bounced ideas off each other and made sure the 6 year old understood what was happening. i know, i know, you're supposed to let the student come up with the idea on her own. however, this was the type of thing that needed some adult input (so plan "a" right*?). ah well, we all finally decided for her to count to 20 on the toilet and if she wasn't done, count again! she even suggested having a special signal to tell the teacher she needed to use the bathroom, and they decided to have the teacher prompt her before she left with their own special phrase, "don't forget to count!"
:) overall, it's been a week and no wet pants! whew. i'll take the little things in life!


*plan a in this model is usually the adult imposing their own agenda for what is the "right" way to do something. versus plan b, which involves the child's perspective and is a bit more "collaborative"

tidbits

small tidbits from the past week and a half:
:) -excitement and enthusiasm for the kindness patrol!
:( -then students calling the photos of the kindness patrol students "dumb" "gay" and "ugly" so the kindness kinda backfired!
:( -9 year old girl crying in the hallway because students are teasing her, calling her "smelly," "ugly," and other mean things.
:( -two boys brought into my office to resolve a conflict tell a girl that they don't like her, but won't say why and keep taunting her without engaging in problem solving.
:) -the next day when i went to talk to one of the boys one on one, he recognized how mean he was being and drew a nice picture for the girl.
:( -after a *successful* collaborative problem solving session about a 6 year old wetting her pants multiple times during the day, she walks away with wet bottoms! hmmm, anxiety and stress may be playing a larger role in this than we thought, even though the collab.prob.solv. was totally chill, empathetic and she understood that she wasn't in trouble!
:) -the boy who was cutting his wrists in class with a razor, came to school smiling the past two days.
:) -the boy in a special day class was found to have below average to average ranged cognition, not an intellectual disability,
:( -but he still runs out of the classroom and has a very difficult time following directions.
:) -deep breaths rock!

i cried today

as the school year starts, and students settle back into the routine of english, math and science, they are also returning to routine, safety, and expectations. many of them have expectations of success, but those who i work with, rarely do. along with their new backpacks, they bring the heaviness of an unstable household, fears of a learning difficulty, the worries of their grandmother in the hospital, or in today's case: the anguish of a loved one dying, and not knowing what to do, but to start hurting himself physically.
this little 10 year old had recently experienced a loved uncle die this summer. today, he overheard his mom on the phone talking about how another uncle died. but all day long, he didn't know who, and was withdrawn and sullen. his teacher noticed, and also noticed how he began cutting himself with scissors, and then a razor he took from the pencil sharpener...this boy didn't tell her a word, and never opened his mouth, but just sat at his desk silently, sullenly.
while i was working with him on a risk assessment, and learned that he had just been through a death of a loved one this summer, my eyes welled up in sadness. all i could do was breathe deeply and give us both a moment of silence. after talking with his family, and making sure he didn't have further plans to harm himself, i just sat in silence for a few moments. it is times like this that i have to sit back in gratitude for all that i have and send out prayers to help this young man. i also feel helpless because of my limitations and the fact that once they leave campus, you just hope that they'll be protected and come to school the next day. i have to trust that there is a natural cycle in this world and even these crazy events in these innocent childrens lives are part of it. it just seems so bizarre that that's the way it is.