It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I posted. I have much on my mind, as usual. I'm still in the midst of being a school psychologist, and navigating all the responsibility and weight of what that means. It's been 10 years, and I still struggle with balancing self-care, too much caring, and district bureaucratic drama. Let me give you an example. After a very strenuous last year (which included a 7 day strike, stress attacks, a new supervisor, and a huge caseload), I thought this year would be much better. There are definitely some things that are better this year. For one, I did go to 80% time, which gives me some relief in the stress-zone. And I am benefitting from the deeper connections we made during the strike with fellow teachers and staff. My supervisor is trying her best and she has such a tough job, I don't envy her. But they started rolling out this "Cycle of Inquiry" procedure for staff, which includes spending very expensive time mulling over a NASP standard and analyzing how we can inquire or deepen our practice in that realm. At least I'm assuming that is basically what it is for us. It was never explained fully. The concept was never explained. It was just mentioned, in the staff meeting, that, "oh by the way, we are doing this now." We didn't have a say and we didn't have any clue what we were doing. Luckily, one of my groupmate's was on top of her game and we were able to regurgitate some ad hoc info to put on the amazingly ambiguous spreadsheet. Who knows where this information is going and why we are told to be doing this. I think the teachers have been told to do this too, and our Instructional Coaches. It really makes no sense practically speaking because everyone is so overwhelmed by district demands already that it makes it a resentful process. It's like adding more boiling water to already overflowing pot. Perhaps I'll look in hindsight and think, "oh wow, that was helpful, and made me a better psych." But for now at least, I'm irritated and annoyed at how administration and leaders can just put down a new law, procedure or requirement without thinking of the ramifications. Now, I'm sure there may be some good reasoning for this new procedure (like deepening our own practice), but it's just difficult spending time on something when you weren't explained the reasoning behind it or given a chance to voice your input. Now I understand why teachers are at their capacity with all that they are required to do. Okay, I'm done ranting about the crazy bureaucracy. Time to go back to my self-care. Meditation anyone?

strike

February 2019 Dear daughter, I want to give you some insight into why I’m striking today. I’m outside in the cold and rain...for you. And for children in our community who deserve to have their basic needs met when they go to school. That means having teacher’s that have time to care for each of them, time for self-care and resources to feel good about teaching, not running out the door at a “better opportunity” in a neighboring district. A validation of their hard work and their back breaking dedication to some of our most vulnerable citizens. I’m striking so that us, as school psychologists can feel as if we are a part of the school community in a much bigger way, rather than being testing machines, providing necessary mental health services, general education intervention services, and teacher support through consultation and classroom programming (remember that self-regulation stuff we use at home? Imagine if that can be taught in classes!). With a smaller caseload, being at one or two schools (rather than 3 or 4!) and feeling less stretched for time, perhaps that would become a reality. I’m out here in this energizing crowd, hoping that nurses can somehow feel acknowledged and validated for their insane caseloads. Recognizing that social workers, counselors, and speech therapists all do much with such little resources. It’s a bigger cause than “just a raise”. It’s a movement for a more just living situation. It’s a vehicle of awareness for where education priorities are in our society, and it’s a difficult but necessary path for what is right. Thank you for listening, daughter, and don’t forget to make good choices. :) Love, your mom.